Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tuesday: Decision Time!

Well, at least the half of it!

I've come to a decision - a very hard one for me - that I have to give up on the #TRIOfor2013   project - running 3 full marathons within a year - as I had envisioned it (Paris-Luxembourg-Berlin).

This Sunday, instead of running the full marathon in Luxembourg, I'll be running the half because like in Paris, I was not able to prepare like I planned.  Now, I am facing the truth, I have to admit, that I am suffering from PTSD (you could read about the background: here); it is something I have to deal with counselling, and the simple admission is a relief.

I can go on and plan two alternative marathons, which I can prepare better for after I have seen the doctor to help me sleep better, and get my anxiety and panic attacks in check. 

Paris 2013- memorable first Spring marathon experience because of a beautiful course, and the fact that I almost gave up!
We went to Paris knowing, that I was not prepared to run the full, and I only wanted to at least run the half.
But half-way, I could not stop myself from finishing the full course.
It was sheer determination that made me finish the race with the knowledge, that I would not be on the official list, and not get a medal (and oh how I love getting medal).

I met many awesome runners along the way, who reminded me in the first place why I run:
to overcome hurdles I put in front of myself.
In the end I was not on the official list of finishers (minutes before I crossed the finish line, they took the mat to register my finishing time) but was graciously rewarded with the medal for finishing!

Berlin & Amsterdam aka My Back 2 Back Marathons 2012! I love these medals because they symbolize for me that you can realize dreams if you: believe and work hard to achieve it.

Yes dear family, friends, fellow running enthusiast, and loyal followers, and those I have yet to meet - I am not that stubborn, reckless and crazy as I seem to come over with my projects and how I execute them.

If you've read my Blogathon 2013 posts Day 1 - Introducing: This Runner, Day 2 - Drie Dorpenloop 2013: Running Home, Day 3 - This Runner: 22 Months Later, perhaps you will have a picture of who I am as a runner, why I run, and the what  motivates me to run, and my passion for marathons.

After the Luxembourg marathon weekend, I will reveal my two alternative marathons. I chose to do 2 - one to replace Luxembourg and the other Paris - to give me an official closure for the project; even though I finished Paris I am not on the offical list of finisher, and it nags on me. To silence the nagging, I'll try to replace it with a lot of running! :D

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If I can run, so can you: big dreams are reached with baby steps!