Monday, September 28, 2015

Happy Feet in Running Wonder(Hol)Land.

“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” 
― Lewis CarrollAlice in Wonderland

Dam tot dam loop 2015 photo
courtesy of Meeus***
taken by Wietse Visser Photography

Dam tot dam loop 2015 photo***

Down The Rabbit Hole*

It's been a while. After a long silence it is always hard to write the first blog. 

I can compare it to the trepidations of meeting a person you have been very good friends with at a certain stage in your life but somehow lost touch with; eventually, the reunion goes very well but - if you are like me! - you obsess about how it will go before you finally see each other.

At first I was simply too busy to blog.  My mind was too busy to put together something I felt would be worthwhile to read.

I knew I will regret it, if I did not record the evolution of a person, who was never sporty in her childhood, and never saw herself as becoming one in her lifetime, venture to a world that was completely strange and yet felt so inviting and in the end, where she needed to be.

May 2015

I would like to take more "Into The Woods" themed pictures.

This was an "Alice in Wonderland" inspired action shot.

It is my favorite favorite book (and I loved watching the film with Johnny Depp because of our girls).

Left, my first race: 5K in Amsterdam Bos (August, 2011)
Right, revisiting one if my favorite 5K
(post injury from Summer 2013) Zandvoort Circuit (March, 2014)

Left my first marathon in Berlin (September, 2012)
; right my first 8K during the Amsterdam marathon event (October, 2011)
Dam tot Damloop 2011
Ladies Run 4 miles (6.4 km)

A memorable picture because it is always a clear reminder
side by side with all the running pictures that followed after how far I have come,
and the physical changes I went through.

A Mad Tea-Party*

So, the first question is, where was I (fitness, training events, race events)  from June - September?

Mostly I recorded what I have been doing, and what I would like to blog about here, on my Instagram account: @happyfeetnl, I created a new one as well @happyfitnl but I will write about that in a separate post.

As early as the last weekend of September, I would like to write a look back series for this year, and I hope you would watch out for these posts.

I am truly very excited with the last quarter of the running year!!!

Breda Singelloop (October) 2013/2014

Zevenheuvelenloop (November) 2014
Bruggenloop Rotterdam (December) 2014

The experience and the whole process of how to deal with my injury, (Morton's Neuroma) from  Summer 2013, has taught me a lot, and it has deepened my appreciation for the sports of running and for the people, who have supported me - my family, my friends.

The two years (I felt like I was in a limbo), in hindsight, helped me changed a lot of things that I needed to do - to live, believe in and breathe as the person I have become and no longer backslide to the person who I was before we moved to Holland.

These all happened after the euphoria of beginning (Summer 2011) with running has ebbed and I was faced yet again with so many life changes.  I thought I had the "simple answer" (running/fitness) to the question: how do I make myself strong (mind, body, spirit).  But it became complicated. I let it become complicated

I guess, going back to the question where I was - literally and figuratively…I had to get away from the madness my mind has put me and go deeper within me to ask once again, why I am running, and why do I go outdoors...

Advice from a Caterpillar*

                                      "The only constant thing in life is change."

Summer (August) 2014

Summer (August) 2015
We finally renamed our boat.
Drifter 25: Summer Breeze

I love this quote about change being constant, and it is what I repeat to myself, when I am at the cusp of making decisions, faced with paralyzing fear, hesitation and many, many, "what if's?".

Our oldest (turning 16 yrs old, exactly a week from now) is 2 years from finishing middle school, while middle daughter (turned 13 this Summer) just began her first year. Oldest is contemplating on which direction to go in choosing the university after graduation.  The youngest (7 and will turn 8 yrs old in November) is contemplating on her next snack. :D

They all ask me on a daily basis about decision making from the most simple (what they could eat/bring for breakfast to school) to the complex (how they would deal with difficult personalities and challenging situations in the great world out there).

If not for all the traveling, moving and running, I would not be confident in answering (the latter question ;) ) as honestly and as genuinely as I could.  Out there has been for the longest a time a source of anxiety for me.

Now, I can confidently say:  be yourself, keep focusing on making the best of who you are.

This is why I am finally able to come back here.  I came out of the madness and back to clarity of all my why's.

I am who I have become because of my daughters. I have been able to go through all the changes because of my life partner.

I would like my daughters to one day read through these blogs and say, "Mom struggled but she did not lose hope.  She had many periods of cocooning* (what I call my depressive episodes) but always become a butterfly in the end. Free to spread out the wings of she who she is and full of courage to soar."

I would like my partner to someday hold in his hand the book I promised, dedicated to him and the girls.

Oh, by the way…

Off my bucket list  !

Run in the vineyards in France .
(my once impossible thing as a child!)

September, 2015.

Story to follow :)

I can't go without sharing my 6 impossible things:

1. Write (and get it published!)  a book about how I overcome bipolar disorder, in the hopes of  helping others who have mental health problems.

2. BQ. 

3.  Sail by myself a whole day.

4. Surprise my husband with something - he thinks is impossible! - I can't share here because he (when he does find the time!) reads my blog.

5. Travel to a chosen destination of each daughter.

6. Gather all the (core) friends I am grateful to, to my 50th birthday to (here we go again!) surprise destination.

What's your 6 impossible things this Monday?