“People sometimes sneer at those who run every day, claiming they'll go to any length to live longer. But don't think that's the reason most people run. Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you're going to while away the years, it's far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive then in a fog, and I believe running helps you to do that. Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that's the essence of running, and a metaphor for life — and for me, for writing as whole. I believe many runners would agree”
― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
One could think because I've ran 3 marathons, that I would no longer have apprehensions, doubts and fears about running.
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| Berlin and Amsterdam Marathon medals |
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| Berlin Marathon, September 2012 |
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| Amsterdam Marathon, October, 2012 |
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| Paris Marathon, April 2013 |
One could think because I had an education in communication, and once worked for a living, writing, that I would no longer lack words, or confidence to express how I feel.
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| My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands - my first public blog created in January, 2011 after blogging anonymously for 6 years - a creative corner, where I consistenly face the challenge of not suffering once again from writer's block |
One could think because of the pictures, stories, positive thoughts and point of views I share of my life, that I have it all, and have a "perfect and sheltered existence".
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| My first 5K - Mom in Balance Pink Ribbon Run - would not have been possible without the generous support of Mijn Liefste P |
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| Our girls inspire and motivate me to be strong and stay strong. |
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| I feel very lucky to live and run in Holland. (Kinderdijk June, 2012) |
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| Self-empowering words! Inspiring not only for running. |
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| You realise dreams - experience a marathon run (first relay marathon during the Hamburg Marathon) - by sharing it with others! |
One could think. At least I did.
Once upon a time, I fervently believed at one point when I have achieved all of the above: run marathons, acquire education in communication, have the family and the life I dreamed of, that my existence would be devoid of emotional pain born out of paralyzing doubts and fears.
Life as everyone sooner or later discover is
not a race for a perfect life or a perfect existence but a long walk home to self-acceptance.
It took a while to realise that I truly can't cure my manic-depression by fulfilling all my goals and dreams.
Instead, in the pursuit of my goals and dreams, I make sure I do not let this mental illness defeat me.
I run to maintain my sanity; I run to gain strength; I run to stay inspired to live life to the fullest; I run to love passionately and laugh freely.
Why do you run?
Perhaps it's because of the emotional roller coaster I'm on right now, the glass of wine or because this post hit home, I'm tearing up. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteI run so I can eat pizza, drink wine and have my sanity. I run because I love it and for the longest time felt it was truly part of what made me.
Thank you for your words, Christina. They hit home for me, too.
DeleteI obsessed about how to write, "Who I am" as a runner. But I thought if I don't write it as I experienced it, or feel it in my core, it would defeat the journey I am continously convincing myself to travel: back home, to me. The essence of the genuine me.
Warm regards
i love reading about your passion joanna. inspires me to find my own... :-)
ReplyDeleteMaraming Salamat sa walang humpas na suporta, Phoebe! :) ♡
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