SimpliF(L)Y Summer!

I love this photo of M.
A  beautiful Summer memory.

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.” ― Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

Monday

Finally a blog update after two months of silence! :) How has your Summer been, so far?

Before I continue, my apologies for those, who visited my blog last Saturday, and did not see any published post.  I am not sure if somebody even :D noticed that  I wrote about my going back to "regular blogging" in my Instagram profile:

print screen of
@happyfeetnl
17.07.17

Plans

It was my intention to start posting blogs every Saturday.

Writing that intention in my Instagram profile was a way of making a commitment.  If or when somebody read it, did not really matter but the act of putting it "out there" is enough for me to prepare myself mentally and have something challenging to do, to look forward to.

Unfortunately, I felt unwell around Wednesday and by the start of the weekend, I was ill. So, Saturday evening I changed  Saturday to Monday as the day of my blog updates. My obsessive mind was soon put at ease!

Normally, you see, I would give myself a hard time about plans not getting accomplished as I envision them.  I would further on obsess mentally about the fact, that when I make plans, they go awry.

Yes, I have learned to be more flexible and less awful to myself!

Before I even became a runner, I've contemplated a lot of times on NEVER ever making any more plans in my life because plans going awry was more of a constant than plans going according to schedule and how I envision them.

It is against my nature, though; I have to make plans! I need the structure, the anticipation, the energy making plans gives me.

After receiving a Garmin watch, as a gift from a friend,
I made plans to use it as a tool to sit less and move more.
The goal was humble: 1000 steps a day.

The number of steps was not the main goal; it was the consistency of moving daily.

SimpliF(L)Y!

Why did I "ramble" on about plans of resuming blogging ;) instead of diving into the update of my marathon training?!

9 weeks and 5 days to go!!!

Well, it is because in the process of training for my second Berlin Marathon, I went through significant transformations: mentally and physically, which made me happier and life feel so much lighter.

Mondays, making plans, and simplifying are just some of the topics that I would like to get into before I share the statistics and details of my marathon training.

These topics are things I had difficult issues with my entire life, and now I am getting better at them.  Significantly. All because of my marathon training.

I won't get into all of these topics on this blog! It will be too much for a single post.

One major thing I can share right now about my Berlin 2017 marathon training: the process has thus far been very rewarding; it  continues to make me happy and I can't wait to run the marathon in September.

Quote

Let me direct your attention once again to the quote at the beginning of this blog. 

If you are a long time reader, you know by now that I almost always start my blogposts with a quote.

I have 5 reasons for this:

1. I love collecting quotes and my blogposts are my way of archiving them.

2. Quotes are my meditative mantras; searching for a  "quote for the day" puts me in a positive mindset, before my day has even begun.

3.  The words in the quote  I chose for particular blogposts gives me something to focus on, when I write. The message behind the quote often makes me feel more centred and confident in writing the message, I would like to convey.

4. I always hope, that reading the quote at the beginning of a blog post gives my blog readers a clue about what my blog is going to be about or gives them the emotions behind the message I am trying to convey.

source: Google Images

(Daily) Blogging & Simplifying

Simplifying life has always been my personal goal and more so, ever since my second daughter was born 15 years ago.  The weight of motherhood seemed daunting the second time around.  My way of coping with situations I feel will be challenging is to either write my feelings about them or find solutions by reading a book(s)!

the book I bought in Germany
on the 5th of July, 2002
a month before my second daughter was born
(28th of August)

In 2011, 2 years after we moved to the Netherlands, I created the blog "My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands" .  I wanted to document our "new life".  I also wanted to hold myself accountable to my goal of simplifying life.  I did this by focusing on the positive things in our lives, and by writing those thoughts in blog form rather than in my journals.

Week 26

Mixing it up a bit: I began the week with an LDR-
LOVED it!
17.9 km run
10th of July

I  have yet to accomplish a 365 blogging project in my 11 years of blogging (my blogging life began September 2006, as an anonymous blogger). 

Blogging about my marathon training (even if I have most of those blogposts in draft mode - currently 14 posts unpublished -  from my marathon training 2017 !) and how I have been dealing with the setbacks, have given me back the zest for blogging, I somehow lost or lose periodically.

I am contemplating on embarking (yet again!) on a 365 blogging project. Making plans...

The difference this time is, it will be a daily celebration of recording life, versus the process being a personal challenge (i.e proving to myself, I can do it!).  We will see, how it goes. ;)

from my Instagram Story
10th of July, 2017

Training for a Marathon 

The adventure of running 42 kilometres, the preparation, helps me simplify my life, the life I share with my beloved family.

M and I were photographed by the official graduation photographer while taking a photo of J.

Eldest after her graduation from middle school!

It truly lifts my spirit high to look back at 26 weeks of work I have put into Berlin marathon training -including the ups and the downs marathon preparation brings.

I soar with the thought, that almost 6 years after I made the plans, that I will run the marathon  in Berlin 2012 in my 40's, I am still running 5 years, later. I am confident, that I will continue to be a runner for many more years to come. As long as I am physically able to.

Week 15
My second medal in 2017

26th of April

Week 17

8th of May

Week 17

9th of May

Week 12

My first race in 2017

2nd of April

 OH, the Stats!

If you can no longer wait ;) 😄for future blogposts to see some marathon training stats, here you go! :D

I am truly proud, 22 days to my 6th RUNniversary, to share the mileage I have ran.

It is incomplete because I was not able to keep the records of my running statistics from August 2011 - August 2012.  Nevertheless! This fact, tiny detail in the big scope of things, does not diminish my sense of accomplishment.

January - July 2017

I began training for my first 5K on the 8th of August 2011

It was not until August 2012, a month before I was to run Berlin Marathon that I won a Nikeplus Sportswatch.

This watch was the first ever gadget, that helped me record my running statistics.

August 2012 - July 2017

P.S. Keep On Keeping On

Thank you, if you made it this far. :) I hope you did.

I hope, if you have been a regular reader, that you will take "hope" with you, after reading this post.

Hope for things to  get better. Hope that you can accomplish a lot with small continuous, consistent steps.

There has been extreme highs and extreme lows in my life.  I can tell you now with confidence, life goes on and it gets (yes, it always eventually does!!!) better, the more we all exert a little bit more effort to try to get to the next day.

Writing, documenting life, running, they are my tools to cope & at the same time celebrate life. You can choose your own tool. We all have what it takes to overcome life's hurdles and challenges.

I wish you luck! Hopefully, I'll "see you"again, here. Soon!

My last Instagram Story for July, 2017!

I used it to announce my blogging come back.

CORRECTION on the day and dates!

It'll be every Monday: on the24th & 31st of July.

We'll see how it goes for August.

Monday, Mornings, Marathons & a Manic Mind

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away 

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall 

I am titanium

I am titanium

I am titanium

- lyrics from Titanium, sung by Madilyn Bailey 

Blogging music playing at the back ground, on repeat: (Titanium; Titanium Album)

Monday

Happy Monday! How are you all doing?!

I am VERY happy to be feeling better again; my family and I had to deal with a flu virus almost over 3 weeks. Husband and I were both nursing each other alternately in the past weeks.

Photo taken this morning at around 11 am by my oldest daughter in between me doing house chores,
writing, sending important emails and continuing with Spring cleaning.

I have so much to share with you all.

My blogging goal this year is as every year: blog more! I know, I know, I keep writing this and it is already for me personally a big thing if I do manage to post at least once a month.

I write a lot (busy mind!), and mostly what I have written stays in draft mode (149 currently in draft versus 151 published blogposts :D ). Or I think a lot of what I would like to write (ideas, lessons in life, stories behind running stories etc) but the thoughts never become written words.

2015 blog stats were more than 2012 (25) & 2014 (24) but less than 2013 (63). I am pretty proud of the 37 blogposts but I wished I exerted more effort.

A Monday is always a good time for positive affirmations, so here we goooo!

I won't name the number of how many blogs I would like to be written this year, as I have done in the past. My aim is to simply try publish at least 3X in the week: MWF.

If I do get to blog the rest of the week, they are just bonus. :)

Mornings

I woke up at 6:20 am today together with Mijn liefste P; I often set the alarm for him for work, and before he goes he set it again for me in case I drift off to sleep again.

It's a luxury to spend a bit of time before our days both begin

I am ashamed to admit that today, I did not get up to spend those precious half an hour with P but I hope tomorrow.

A collage from our Saturday morning family walk after my Saturday run with the House of Running crew, 2 weeks ago.
I'll be blogging about my experiences with HoR this week!
Precious Saturday mornings with other people who share the passion for running.

This Saturday is made even more special by the fact that P walks for at least an hour while he waits for me to finish my training with HoR.
Baby steps to running together, soon! 

Sunday, we both semi-spontaneously begun with Spring Cleaning 2016! This made Monday feel more full of energy.

More on this on my other blog at My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands.

Sunday's Spring cleaning is my "warm-up" to going back to my marathon training!

Marathons 

I am not sure if I will write a separate blog today about my marathon training - an update and recap.

In case I don't get to do so, here is a short version: I am no longer running the Rotterdam Marathon, which was suppose to be my Spring marathon goal.

Rotterdam Marathon 2014
with the beautiful people of Social Mile
(Together with Chantor, founder of Social Miles, Renée my good friend  & Chantor's beautiful wife, Kim in neon SM shirt,  ran the marathon as a relay team; Ron - far left on the picture - Renée's better half ran the full marathon.)

Rotterdam Marathon 2015
original goal to run the half-marathon distance
with a full marathon starting number thanks to the generosity of
MeeùsRunClub.
This was supposed to be a mental prep for me on my 2016's goal to run the full marathon in this event.
Eva and Udjen both ran the full.

It was a good day and I ran 11 kilometers further than I planned.
I had an hour to finish and I could have done so (way over the time limit!) for personal satisfaction.
In the end, I decided to step out as planned.
The picture on the right of this collage was taken by Tamara's husband.
She seems to be my Rotterdam marathon angel. I've seen her for two consecutive years without us arranging it before  hand

It is a very fast marathon for me (time limit: 5:30; I currently have a marathon pace with a marathon finish of 6:00), and it will be stressful to continue having it as my first marathon goal after 3 weeks of dealing with a flu. It has also been 3 years of waiting to run a full again.

After 4 years of running experience, I have become more flexible with letting go of a goal.  After my injury I see running for what it is since the very beginning for me: a symbol and a sport that keeps me going!

I still have Slachtemarathon to look forward to in June.

This coming Sunday, I'll be running Groet uit Schoorl; it is an event, which I have been wanting to run again since 2013. Originally the plan was to run a half-marathon distance (as part of my #13HappyHalves project) but I have to switch (a struggle for my mind!) to a shorter distance because of being ill for so long.

More on this tomorrow.

(A) Manic Mind

Every week, I would like to write a short update on the state of my mind.  It is both a personal and hopefully, a public service.

Most of those close to me, and those who reads my blog, know I have bipolar disorder.

a picture I sent my friend Meike aka @fithealthybrunette
during our WhatsApp chat.
It was so thoughtful of her to ask how I was doing while I was recuperating.

Normally, I have a hard time sharing how I look when sick or interacting at all but not with her.

I met Meike via a Nike Women challenge last year, and
she's been a huge positive influence in my life.
Another blessing the sport of running has brought me.
You can check her blog here: StrongFit.nl

I hope to share this year a lot of  our experiences together on our road to reaching our different goals.

Running and blogging have improved the quality of every area of my life in so many ways.

Keeping an active lifestyle enabled me to deal with a lot of of my fears & triggers face on, and confront many mental blocks that have increased in years because of this disorder.

I am relieved to share that my depression have decreased and my manic phases are under control, as well. 

I would like to help others.

Honestly though, most of the time, I am happy if I have the (mental) energy to help myself.

Writing what I have learned in the process of dealing with my bipolar disorder, serves as a reminder of how far I have come; I re-read my blogs when I am at the beginning of repeating destructive patterns.

It is my hope that by holding myself accountable to write at least once a week about my mental health, I will not only help myself continue improving but help those silent readers out there, who I know from experience receives catharsis by reading the words of others, who go through the same struggles.

A picture taken last week - as you can see, I was
still not feeling okay but I went out for a walk
with youngest daughter and her best friend.

Walking in nature really is good for the mind and spirit.

I would like to do this every Monday but one characteristic of bipolar disorder, that I am dealing with is taking on too much. Mondays are usually very busy.

So I will make this either every Tuesday or Thursday or short blogs for each days. I will try to write  in different perspectives and I will keep it between 250-500 words written under half an hour.

Monday will simply be a reminder to myself and to my readers of what's in store for this week.

Have you read about my What's Up Wednesday blog series already? I did not share it (yet) on all my social media channels. I wanted to let a week past first, and wanted to leave it to chance, who stumbles upon it (those who subscribed to my blogposts, or those who checks the link to my blog on Twitter or Instagram).

It's all part of my self-theraphy. I hope to share more about it every week.

2016

In spite of being sick after a very active January, I am looooooooving 2016 so far. :)

In 2015, we made a lot of personal changes and I feel how these changes have helped my family and I simplify life. We have progressed and I am delighted to see this in our daily life.

We will continue to be a work in progress; I am very proud of how we work as a unit because it makes the ups and downs easier to deal with.

I leave you with a quote I searched for to power my "starting over" week:

“So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. ” 

― Lee Iacocca

15:53

March Onwards to #MR15

CPC Run 2015

I discovered early on that it wasn't the sport of running that attracted me but the act of running. It was in the pounding of my own heart, in the rhythm of my own breathing that the answers began to come. The answers came if, and only if, I kept running. 

- John -The Penguin - Bingham

My current motivating mantra, Dr. Seuss' quote.

Too happy to be miffed about my name being misspelled! :D
(BUT really, the coffee barista repeated my NAME! Cheeky!
Oh, well, I *finally* have a misspelled name Starbucks moment hahaha)

Countdown!


It's been almost 3 weeks since my last marathon update, which you can read: here.

Today, it is 26 days away to Rotterdam Marathon 2015 !



Make It (KM) Count! Part 1


So far in preparation for #MR15, I've ran:

November, 2014 - 125 km (My official first month of training)

December, 2015 - 61.8 km ( :( Deep dive  in the km due to flu virus!)

January, 2015 - 100.2 km (Relapse from flu virus prevented me from reaching 150 km but I forged on!)

February, 2015 - 101.5 km (Flu virus persist! Target was 150-200 km but I am happy with February; I feel confident that this year, I could consistently run an average of 100 km/month.)

March, 2015 - currently 26.2 km.  March is at the beginning of  it's 3rd week, and I am feeling like I am once again at the beginning of my marathon training.

#MR15 - 414.7 km - current kilometer stand 16th of March.

If I am not in a marathon training adventure, I would not have this "happy collage"…
It tells the story of myself not giving up and being consistently rewarded for my efforts.
I may not be a fast paced runner, but I keep running and the joy of running remains - 3 years later, 3 

Make It (KM) Count! Part 2


My tentative plan of how the next week's Saturday/Sunday training will look like (originally posted on the 25th of February blog/UPDATE - 16th of March):

Saturday, 28th of February: 28-*30*-32 km  I ran an 11.15 km run because I was not feeling so well to train for a long distance run.

Sunday, 8th of March: Half-Marathon, CPC Loop Den Haag 2015 (my first race in 2015) ✔ DONE! (blog link to follow - short version: I basically did not do anything the week leading to Sunday's race because I was still feeling poorly. On the day itself I was not sure if I was going to reach the finish line. But I treated the race as a slow long distance run, and was 15 minutes faster than I thought I would be.  With a total of 10-12 minutes loo/drink breaks: I finished with 2:44:40 net time.)

Sunday, 15th of March: 15-21-30 km - took yet another one week break

Sunday, 22nd of March: 32-35*35*-42 km (*-* - I will share about the details of this plan later…) THIS WEEK, I will have to decide, if I will pursue this marathon further on, or cancel and run another one a month later.

Sunday, 29th of March: 25 km
Sunday, 5th of April: 21 km
Sunday, 12th of April: THE #MR15 Day! :)

This is what it looks like when I take a break from marathon training. :)

I don't get upset; I start appreciating what I am blessed with - good life.

Marathon (Training) Magic . . .


When things are not going the way you would like them to be, I have learned it is unnecessary to be upset.  Running and marathon training has helped me accept this life lesson better than daily life could.

Of course we are all allowed to feel and acknowledge the feeling of frustration and anger. But what we do next is what defines us.

I do not regret that I began with the Rotterdam Marathon 2015 adventure. 

 3 years ago, I would not have imagined that I would have courage to do so.  My marathon motivation is not based on speed but endurance.  Endurance to keep on running in preparation for the marathon, and endurance to finish within the time limit.

5:30 time limit is nothing to an average marathon runner.  But since I belong to the back of the pack, who has a minimalistic training (= the minimum training to finish) - 5:30 is a big challenge.

Slooooow runner but happpppppy runner!

If I can go back this week to my minimalistic training, geared to make me finish this Spring marathon strong and within the time limit, then all the effort of the last months will be rewarded abundantly.

If I have to skip it because of health issues, I already feel abundantly rewarded now because of my own personal progress in areas in my life I wanted to improve on.  Without the marathon training, I think it would have taken me even longer to improve.

I am not there yet, where I would like to be, more consistent, more decisive, stronger in coping with the challenges of my bipolar disorder.  But there are so much improvement I am thankful for - thanks to running and marathon training.

For now, the hope that I can include Rotterdam to my marathon stories remains alive.

All my previous blogs related to Marathon Rotterdam Training :

Marathon Training in My Mind: My 25Ks & Entering the 30Ks Zone
Easy Sunday Come Back Run
The Road to Rotterdam 2015: Update!
Monday Marathon Training Recap: #MR15Reloaded
#HFNLRunDiary2015: Friday Night Run

Turning My "Kryptonite" To My Super Powers

Dam tot Damloop
This was my slowest 10M (16K) but I was happy that I could run again; it felt like flying!
 2014

If there is time travel, and you would go back in time to tell the 10-12 year old me, that I would finish not one but 3 marathons within a year and a half of running - as a 40-41 y.o. woman! - I think I would fall over on the spot, and not live to see the marvelous days  from sheer shock!

July 2013 @  Wijk aan Zee 
07.07.13
I ran barefoot on the beach for the first time in my life
 because of the foot pain I experienced, when I was training with the wrong shoes for my Autumn races.
Later on, I will be diagnosed with Morton Neuroma.
An injury, which taught me a lot of important running and non-running lessons!

One of my most favorite race photo
because it is evident here that I have joy in running,
and no more hang-ups wearing shorts; it was a fear I had since I was a little girl.
Taken a year and a month after I started running

Between the age of 10-12 years old, I was severely terrified of sports, terrified of wearing shorts (because of a scar!), and I fell over often that I did not even run just for the fun of it - the way I experience my 3 daughters (6, 12, and 15 years old respectively) do it!

Next week, it would be the 39th edition of the TCS Amsterdam Marathon.


This event is very significant to me; it is the event that finally got me out of the door running.  Well, it got me out of the door walking with my very old running shoes!

The last 50 meters of my first 8K! 

My first training day for my first 8K run, was an 8K walk; I went out of the door, pushing the jogger of my  (almost 4 year old) daughter, in front of me.


It seemed appropriate  to vigorously walk the distance I will eventually run in order to get over the anxiety I was having over the goal I set for myself.

On the 8th of August 2011, I walked an 8K with my daughter in her jogger.

I vowed on the first day of my training to document everything,
as much as I can of my "late in my years running adventure"!
Until now, I am very grateful I made and keeping making the effort.

I was 39 y.o. then, separated.  Once again I found myself in yet another foreign country - beginning a new life, this time, in a loving and nurturing relationship.

At this  point, I've lived in Holland for 2 years.  Life is good, stable and going in a positive direction but I was still experiencing severe cycles of my bipolar disorder.

From my previous therapy with a clinical psychiatrist, I knew that I had to take charge of my disorder  or it will take charge of my life.

At the marathon expo a day before my first 8K!

October, 2011

Going outdoors, being physically  active, participating and engaging in community & social activities, were just some of the things I had to maintain to get myself out of the prison of my own mind.

Left to right:
Berlin Marathon 2011
Paris Marathon 2013
Luxembourg HM 2013
(I became the face of this HM!)

August 2011 - October 2014,  3 unforgettable running years:


from finishing my first 5K, 20 days after  that significant 8K walk with the jogger in front of me, to running back to back marathons (3 weeks apart) a year after, and finishing in Paris marathon half a year later.

Family and friends started calling me: "Super Woman! Super Mom!"

I felt elated and embarrassed at the same time.

It was not until I decided to write with more self-conviction, no shame and more transparency about my mental disorder, that I felt genuinely deserving of the praise.

I coined my journey: The Story of Slow.

I do not run marathons to beat time, I run marathons to beat anxiety, depression, panic attacks and to tame my mania.

My marathon motivation is to help others empower themselves.

My fear has become my power. I do what I fear.

Mostly, I do them with my running shoes!

NTC live class 
in Carré
September, 2014

Posbankloop 
October, 2014

Singelloop Breda

After a year of struggle with my Morton Neuroma,
I finally ran the fastest 10K for this year!
#NEVERGiveUP!

My TCS Amsterdam Marathon in a collage
hopefully next week
I will be able to add another race/finish line photo
from this event.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE ON THIS BLOGPOST 04.11/10.11.14 (  a bit late!) This is a blog I wrote, in the hopes, that my story will win me a starting bib on the 2014 TCS Amsterdam Marathon.  It did!

Follow up blogpost on this story coming up soon, together with the story of why I am running the marathon again in Amsterdam, next year. :)

8/100

This blogpost has been updated 
on the 20 of July, 2017 08:54