|Dam tot Damloop|
This was my slowest 10M (16K) but I was happy that I could run again; it felt like flying!
If there is time travel, and you would go back in time to tell the 10-12 year old me, that I would finish not one but 3 marathons within a year and a half of running - as a 40-41 y.o. woman! - I think I would fall over on the spot, and not live to see the marvelous days from sheer shock!
|One of my most favorite race photo |
because it is evident here that I have joy in running,
and no more hang-ups wearing shorts; it was a fear I had since I was a little girl.
Taken a year and a month after I started running
Between the age of 10-12 years old, I was severely terrified of sports, terrified of wearing shorts (because of a scar!), and I fell over often that I did not even run just for the fun of it - the way I experience my 3 daughters (6, 12, and 15 years old respectively) do it!
Next week, it would be the 39th edition of the TCS Amsterdam Marathon.
This event is very significant to me; it is the event that finally got me out of the door running. Well, it got me out of the door walking with my very old running shoes!
|The last 50 meters of my first 8K!|
My first training day for my first 8K run, was an 8K walk; I went out of the door, pushing the jogger of my (almost 4 year old) daughter, in front of me.
It seemed appropriate to vigorously walk the distance I will eventually run in order to get over the anxiety I was having over the goal I set for myself.
I was 39 y.o. then, separated. Once again I found myself in yet another foreign country - beginning a new life, this time, in a loving and nurturing relationship.
At this point, I've lived in Holland for 2 years. Life is good, stable and going in a positive direction but I was still experiencing severe cycles of my bipolar disorder.
From my previous therapy with a clinical psychiatrist, I knew that I had to take charge of my disorder or it will take charge of my life.
|At the marathon expo a day before my first 8K!|
Going outdoors, being physically active, participating and engaging in community & social activities, were just some of the things I had to maintain to get myself out of the prison of my own mind.
|Left to right:|
Berlin Marathon 2011
Paris Marathon 2013
Luxembourg HM 2013
(I became the face of this HM!)
August 2011 - October 2014, 3 unforgettable running years:
from finishing my first 5K, 20 days after that significant 8K walk with the jogger in front of me, to running back to back marathons (3 weeks apart) a year after, and finishing in Paris marathon half a year later.
Family and friends started calling me: "Super Woman! Super Mom!"
I felt elated and embarrassed at the same time.
It was not until I decided to write with more self-conviction, no shame and more transparency about my mental disorder, that I felt genuinely deserving of the praise.
I coined my journey: The Story of Slow.
I do not run marathons to beat time, I run marathons to beat anxiety, depression, panic attacks and to tame my mania.
My marathon motivation is to help others empower themselves.
My fear has become my power. I do what I fear.
Mostly, I do them with my running shoes!
|NTC live class |
After a year of struggle with my Morton Neuroma,
I finally ran the fastest 10K for this year!
|My TCS Amsterdam Marathon in a collage|
hopefully next week
I will be able to add another race/finish line photo
from this event.
UPDATE ON THIS BLOGPOST 04.11/10.11.14 ( a bit late!) This is a blog I wrote, in the hopes, that my story will win me a starting bib on the 2014 TCS Amsterdam Marathon. It did!
Follow up blogpost on this story coming up soon, together with the story of why I am running the marathon again in Amsterdam, next year. :)