Monday, Mornings, Marathons & a Manic Mind

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away 

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall 

I am titanium

I am titanium

I am titanium

- lyrics from Titanium, sung by Madilyn Bailey 

Blogging music playing at the back ground, on repeat: (Titanium; Titanium Album)

Monday

Happy Monday! How are you all doing?!

I am VERY happy to be feeling better again; my family and I had to deal with a flu virus almost over 3 weeks. Husband and I were both nursing each other alternately in the past weeks.

Photo taken this morning at around 11 am by my oldest daughter in between me doing house chores,
writing, sending important emails and continuing with Spring cleaning.

I have so much to share with you all.

My blogging goal this year is as every year: blog more! I know, I know, I keep writing this and it is already for me personally a big thing if I do manage to post at least once a month.

I write a lot (busy mind!), and mostly what I have written stays in draft mode (149 currently in draft versus 151 published blogposts :D ). Or I think a lot of what I would like to write (ideas, lessons in life, stories behind running stories etc) but the thoughts never become written words.

2015 blog stats were more than 2012 (25) & 2014 (24) but less than 2013 (63). I am pretty proud of the 37 blogposts but I wished I exerted more effort.

A Monday is always a good time for positive affirmations, so here we goooo!

I won't name the number of how many blogs I would like to be written this year, as I have done in the past. My aim is to simply try publish at least 3X in the week: MWF.

If I do get to blog the rest of the week, they are just bonus. :)

Mornings

I woke up at 6:20 am today together with Mijn liefste P; I often set the alarm for him for work, and before he goes he set it again for me in case I drift off to sleep again.

It's a luxury to spend a bit of time before our days both begin

I am ashamed to admit that today, I did not get up to spend those precious half an hour with P but I hope tomorrow.

A collage from our Saturday morning family walk after my Saturday run with the House of Running crew, 2 weeks ago.
I'll be blogging about my experiences with HoR this week!
Precious Saturday mornings with other people who share the passion for running.

This Saturday is made even more special by the fact that P walks for at least an hour while he waits for me to finish my training with HoR.
Baby steps to running together, soon! 

Sunday, we both semi-spontaneously begun with Spring Cleaning 2016! This made Monday feel more full of energy.

More on this on my other blog at My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands.

Sunday's Spring cleaning is my "warm-up" to going back to my marathon training!

Marathons 

I am not sure if I will write a separate blog today about my marathon training - an update and recap.

In case I don't get to do so, here is a short version: I am no longer running the Rotterdam Marathon, which was suppose to be my Spring marathon goal.

Rotterdam Marathon 2014
with the beautiful people of Social Mile
(Together with Chantor, founder of Social Miles, Renée my good friend  & Chantor's beautiful wife, Kim in neon SM shirt,  ran the marathon as a relay team; Ron - far left on the picture - Renée's better half ran the full marathon.)

Rotterdam Marathon 2015
original goal to run the half-marathon distance
with a full marathon starting number thanks to the generosity of
MeeùsRunClub.
This was supposed to be a mental prep for me on my 2016's goal to run the full marathon in this event.
Eva and Udjen both ran the full.

It was a good day and I ran 11 kilometers further than I planned.
I had an hour to finish and I could have done so (way over the time limit!) for personal satisfaction.
In the end, I decided to step out as planned.
The picture on the right of this collage was taken by Tamara's husband.
She seems to be my Rotterdam marathon angel. I've seen her for two consecutive years without us arranging it before  hand

It is a very fast marathon for me (time limit: 5:30; I currently have a marathon pace with a marathon finish of 6:00), and it will be stressful to continue having it as my first marathon goal after 3 weeks of dealing with a flu. It has also been 3 years of waiting to run a full again.

After 4 years of running experience, I have become more flexible with letting go of a goal.  After my injury I see running for what it is since the very beginning for me: a symbol and a sport that keeps me going!

I still have Slachtemarathon to look forward to in June.

This coming Sunday, I'll be running Groet uit Schoorl; it is an event, which I have been wanting to run again since 2013. Originally the plan was to run a half-marathon distance (as part of my #13HappyHalves project) but I have to switch (a struggle for my mind!) to a shorter distance because of being ill for so long.

More on this tomorrow.

(A) Manic Mind

Every week, I would like to write a short update on the state of my mind.  It is both a personal and hopefully, a public service.

Most of those close to me, and those who reads my blog, know I have bipolar disorder.

a picture I sent my friend Meike aka @fithealthybrunette
during our WhatsApp chat.
It was so thoughtful of her to ask how I was doing while I was recuperating.

Normally, I have a hard time sharing how I look when sick or interacting at all but not with her.

I met Meike via a Nike Women challenge last year, and
she's been a huge positive influence in my life.
Another blessing the sport of running has brought me.
You can check her blog here: StrongFit.nl

I hope to share this year a lot of  our experiences together on our road to reaching our different goals.

Running and blogging have improved the quality of every area of my life in so many ways.

Keeping an active lifestyle enabled me to deal with a lot of of my fears & triggers face on, and confront many mental blocks that have increased in years because of this disorder.

I am relieved to share that my depression have decreased and my manic phases are under control, as well. 

I would like to help others.

Honestly though, most of the time, I am happy if I have the (mental) energy to help myself.

Writing what I have learned in the process of dealing with my bipolar disorder, serves as a reminder of how far I have come; I re-read my blogs when I am at the beginning of repeating destructive patterns.

It is my hope that by holding myself accountable to write at least once a week about my mental health, I will not only help myself continue improving but help those silent readers out there, who I know from experience receives catharsis by reading the words of others, who go through the same struggles.

A picture taken last week - as you can see, I was
still not feeling okay but I went out for a walk
with youngest daughter and her best friend.

Walking in nature really is good for the mind and spirit.

I would like to do this every Monday but one characteristic of bipolar disorder, that I am dealing with is taking on too much. Mondays are usually very busy.

So I will make this either every Tuesday or Thursday or short blogs for each days. I will try to write  in different perspectives and I will keep it between 250-500 words written under half an hour.

Monday will simply be a reminder to myself and to my readers of what's in store for this week.

Have you read about my What's Up Wednesday blog series already? I did not share it (yet) on all my social media channels. I wanted to let a week past first, and wanted to leave it to chance, who stumbles upon it (those who subscribed to my blogposts, or those who checks the link to my blog on Twitter or Instagram).

It's all part of my self-theraphy. I hope to share more about it every week.

2016

In spite of being sick after a very active January, I am looooooooving 2016 so far. :)

In 2015, we made a lot of personal changes and I feel how these changes have helped my family and I simplify life. We have progressed and I am delighted to see this in our daily life.

We will continue to be a work in progress; I am very proud of how we work as a unit because it makes the ups and downs easier to deal with.

I leave you with a quote I searched for to power my "starting over" week:

“So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. ” 

― Lee Iacocca

15:53

Monday Marathon Training Mental Prep & Last Long Distance Run

Rereading my Zandvoort Circuit Run 2012 is a great mental prep for my last Rotterdam Marathon #MR15 long distance training run.  

My  Zandvoort Circuit Run
Left - 2012
Right - 2014

Reposted this picture on my

happyfeetnl
Instagram account

to cheer fellow runners.

Rejoicing for others keep your running goals alive, I've learned.

13 days to go to Marathon Rotterdam, 

and here are #MyRoad2Rotterdam facts:



1. From November (my official start of training) until March (not counting the mileage of today and tomorrow), I've ran a total of 439.01 km. 

Not much compared to an average runner preparing for their marathon. 

Compared to my *own* stats and preparation for my previous marathons (Berlin, Amsterdam & Marathon de Paris) though, this has been my highest training mileage.

My last run (11 km) in November in Scheveningen,
completing a 125 km in a month,
made me completely commit to the idea of running
Rotterdam Marathon

An image I posted on my
 @HappyFeetNL 
Instagram account
on the 9th of December, 2014
officially announcing my
Rotterdam Marathon goal

2. In January, I ran my first long distance training run of 25 km. 

This has been the longest distance I've run, since my injury in July-August 2013 (completely recovered end of 2014).

No Morton Neuroma (foot nerve injury) pain!

Sunday, 25th of January

25 kilometers

In February, I ran 2, 25 km officially, one is actually 29 km but it did not record because the battery of my sport watch was empty by kilometer 25.

Sunday, 1st of February
25 kilometers

Monday, 23rd February
25 kilometers
(29 but only 25 kilometers got recorded
with the sportswatch due to empty battery)

In March, I ran my first race for this year, a half-marathon in the Hague.  

It was my test run to gauge the status of my condition, as well as consider the eventuality of choosing another marathon, should my training not be enough to finish within the time limit in Rotterdam.

CPC Run 2015

Sunday, 8th of March

Half-marathon race

Middle of March, I wanted to run 32-35 km as a final long distance training so I can confidently go to the start on the 12th of April. Alas until today, I have not managed it yet.



3. From December to March, I have been sick almost every month. 

It is a persistent respiratory infection. 

This is  why I had to rest a week to a couple of weeks and go back to training again; a re-occurring cycle of the past 3 months.

posted on Instagram

5th of January

posted on Instagram

17th of December, 2014

My marathon goals has always been to get myself regularly outdoors, for Rotterdam marathon run at least 100-150 km/month, and finish still running to the finish line.

So far I have managed the first two goals, and in two weeks, I'll see if I will accomplish the third.

taken
Monday, 23rd February
during my
25 kilometers 
training run

4. With my minimal(istic) training, my body has been prepared to continuously run/move from 4-6 hours in a slow consistent pace.

My previous marathon experiences assures me now, that I will be mentally strong enough to finish the distance. 

If I manage a strong run for my last long distance training, today or tomorrow (either 35/15 km or 15/35;  will also try 18/32 or 32/18 km )  I will have the assurance that I will be physically able to run the whole distance as well.

But perhaps not within the prescribed finish time of 5:30.

5. I'll be starting on the 12th of April, depending on my run today and tomorrow. 

If I finish strong, and taper well in the next 12 days, you'll find me at the start! 

If during the event itself, I feel that I won't finish on time, I'll be stepping out @ kilometer 35, and see the day as a long distance training for a marathon I will run in May or June.

Currently looking for a bib
for the ING Luxembourg Night Marathon!

6. This marathon training has given me a lot  - the opportunity to learn new important lessons, and apply the old lessons in running I have learned in the past 3 years.

My friendship with long time friends (non-runners as well!), as well as with new friends have also deepened because of this marathon adventure.


7. I am happy I took the first step towards Rotterdam Marathon.

Once again, I wish everyone all the best in the last couple of weeks of training/tapering! Don't forget to pat yourself on the back for all the hard work of the last months!



All my previous blogs related to Marathon Rotterdam Training :

Dealing with Unfinished (Running) Business, and Recycling Goals
March Onwards to #MR15
Marathon Training in My Mind: My 25Ks & Entering the 30Ks Zone
Easy Sunday Come Back Run
The Road to Rotterdam 2015: Update!
Monday Marathon Training Recap: #MR15Reloaded
#HFNLRunDiary2015: Friday Night Run

Marathon Training in My Mind: My 25Ks & Entering the 30Ks Zone

“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.” 

― Nelson Mandela

I LOVE the quote above from Nelson Mandela.  It summarizes beautifully, how I am currently feeling about my marathon training, and my passion for marathons in general.



Countdown!


45 days to go to Rotterdam Marathon 2015 (hashtag: #MR15 in social media)!

I am still - as always! -  catching up on recording running stories and training recaps  for #MR15.

This fact does not take away the happiness I feel, since I've been documenting my training better compared to my 3 previous marathons.  It can only get better from here on. :)

Monday, 23rd February
25 kilometers

Make It (KM) Count!


Last Monday, I recorded another 25 km run.  It was supposed to be 30 km but the battery of my sportswatch was empty, and went off by kilometer 25.

SO, I'll count it together with my 2 other previous 25Ks.

This coming Saturday, I'll run again the 30 km distance to officially document it on my Nike+ stats.  It is more for my mental prep to be honest.

Before I continue in the 30+ km zone, I wanted to write a blog that will save my 25Ks collages.  I would like to run the distances of 32, 35 kilometers before I taper.

Below is my tentative plan of how the next week's Saturday/Sunday training will look like (posted on the 25th of February/UPDATE - 16th of March):

Saturday, 28th of February: 28-*30*-32 km  I ran an 11.15 km run because I was not feeling so well to train for a long distance run.

Sunday, 8th of March: Half-Marathon, CPC Loop Den Haag 2015 (my first race in 2015) ✔ DONE! (blog link to follow - short version: I basically did not do anything the week leading to Sunday's race because I was still feeling poorly. On the day itself I was not sure if I was going to reach the finish line. But I treated the race as a slow long distance run, and was 15 minutes faster than I thought I would be.  With a total of 10-12 minutes loo/drink breaks: I finished with 2:44:40 net time.)


Sunday, 15th of March: 15-21-30 km - took yet another one week break

Sunday, 22nd of March: 32-35*35*-42 km (*-* - I will share about the details of this plan later…) THIS WEEK, I will finally decide if I will pursue this marathon further on, or cancel and run another one a month later.

Sunday, 29th of March: 25 km
Sunday, 5th of April: 21 km
Sunday, 12th of April: THE #MR15 Day! :)

An image I posted on my @HappyFeetNL Instagram account
on the 9th of December, 2014
officially announcing my
Rotterdam Marathon goal

So far in preparation for #MR15, I've ran:

November, 2014 - 125 km (My official first month of training)
December, 2015 - 61.8 km ( :( Deep dive  in the km due to flu virus!)
January, 2015 - 100 km (Relapse from flu virus prevented me from reaching 150 km but I forged on!)

February, 2015 - currently 90.3 km (Flu virus persist! Target was 150-200 km but I am happy with February; I feel confident that I will make it to 100 before the month ends! I am still "secretly" wishing that I will finally reach 150 km in February, though…)

#MR15 - 377.1 km - current kilometer stand 25th of February

(UPDATE, 16th of March: here)

Sunday, 1st of February
25 kilometers

Sunday, 25th of January

25 kilometers

Each collage  above represent each 25 K run of the last weeks.  I put the corresponding date to each collage, and hopefully, when I find the time & have the peace, I'll edit this blog to include the link (on the dates) to the  corresponding blogs about each run.



Marathon (Training) Magic . . .


As always, when I write updates, I like to list things about why I love marathon training; the preparation for Rotterdam Marathon helps me remember and keep them in mind:

• The beauty of life outdoors.  Looking at the pictures I was privilege to capture during my runs has been giving me  fulfillment as much as the run themselves.

• The joy over the friendships formed through the mutual goals & passion: Rotterdam Marathon/Spring Marathon/longdistance running/staying fit/healthy lifestyle! 

December, 2014
Bruggenloop Rotterdam

November, 2014
Zevenheuvelenloop, Nijmegen

September, 2014
Dam tot Damloop, Amsterdam

• The people you meet! Getting to know more inspiring & motivating people on the road to the goal you set for yourself .  The pursuit of the dreams and goals becomes a shared experience with like-minded souls.

The Mermaid Club
Watch out for my blog about how it is to be TMC Ambassador
and be amongst many inspiring women all over the world!

Janine & Mark from Belfast
More about them and their inspiring stories, next time!
(click on the link to check out Janine's new blogsite!)

Janine

SO MANY INSTAGRAMMERS!
I'll share more on motivating IGers, next time!

• The lessons learned! Revisiting* wisdom already learned and gaining new ones (blogalore* after a long dry spell !) contributes to the exciting road, which leads to the marathon finish line.

My (other!) blogs about life behind running:

My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands
The Lightness of Being on The Bike

• The never-ending transformation.  Happy Feet=Happy Mind.  

Let's Goooo!
21st of February
(Saturday)
at km 5 of a
15 kilometers  run
#MyShadowandI :D

Once again, I wish everyone continued success in their preparation for various Spring marathon!

Please do leave a comment below to tell me how things are, or that I can check your blogs and offer support, on your way to fulfilling your goal what ever they may be. :)

All my previous blogs related to Marathon Rotterdam Training :

• Easy Sunday Come Back Run
• The Road to Rotterdam 2015: Update!
• Monday Marathon Training Recap: #MR15Reloaded
• #HFNLRunDiary2015: Friday Night Run

Easy Sunday Come Back Run

 “There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.” 

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

(Curious to what has transpired so far in my marathon training  for Rotterdam? You can find a quick update: here.)

What a weekend! Full of unforgettable, meaningful moments, and the peak was:

a good come back run - sloooooooow but strong!

It began "late" (16:15/4:15 pm) but it was still "very early" than my usual Sunday long  runs.  

I am writing it here,  that next Sunday's long distance run will definitely be in the morning! As early as now, I am going to organize the week, that the run will before the sunrise, and that I am back home before my family wakes up.  Or at least when they are ready to eat a long leisurely brunch.

Now, back to the run of today - O-yay!

It was 15K.  

Why did I not start with 5 or 8 or 10 to build up back again? Simple short answer: it is because I love long distances, and I am more motivated to go outdoors, if I know I will cover a longer distance, and that is why I ran my first run after 2 weeks break on a Sunday instead of during the week.

The first 5K of this 15K run was in super slow warm-up pace.

Afterwards, the next 5 kilometers,  I did a playful interval to see how my body will react to it.

Before I took a break I was having coughing fits during my run!

The last 5 km was all about "playing", and enjoying that I can run again.

Even though I "rested", and took a break from running, I did not stop "working-out" (see @The Lightness of Being on the Bike   blogs, please!).  So, it was good to experience that the "spinning" exercises I did outdoors with Frodo (my bike)  on the way back home after bring the girls to school, paid off.

The pictures below are from Ankeveen, our village.

Today was such a beautiful sunny Winter day; it would have been a pity not to take pictures.  Specially because it has been (in my opinion!) very gray the last weeks.

I also took pictures of a lot of places, where I so far only had night shots. hahaha  I wanted to write a blog with the pictures side by side. Watch out for that!

This was taken right after I left our village, on my way to Kortenhoef.

It's the Carnival weekend here in Holland!

I had to get some stuff I needed for this run (as well as for next week's run), and it was practical because the shop was on the way.

This sunset (I did not have the peace to take a better one - next time!) was taken by the Emmaweg. I love this path.

I adore the reflection of trees on the water.

There is a night shot of this selfie!  :)

As well as a night shot of this bridge! Yes,  day light shots are MUCH  better; thank you very much. :D

By kilometer 7, I reached Hilversum where I began trying to see how my lungs will react if speed up a bit.

These houseboats…they are much livelier in the dark, when the house owners are inside and the blinds are up!

Kilometer 8! I am still feeling a-OK.


Just a pity I could not replicate a good night shot of me in front of the OK sign, which I took last 4th of January because there was a guy parked nearby, and I was too self-conscious to do my "happy-face-boxing-in-the-air-selfie" in front of him. hahahaha

Oh well, next time! Maybe I can do another 15K, during school week, and take my OK-themed selfie. During daylight. :D

I stopped here, and took this photo to remind myself to plan another route around this area, next time.

Perhaps ask P to drop me off and start a run from here.

I wish many times before, and I'll wish it again: I wish I have a camera that takes shots of how I truly see, what is before me.  This was for me magical, when I came upon it.

Alas, the camera of my trusted Samsung Galaxy Young (I still love it's presence in my run though - both shot and phone!) does not do it justice.

My phone ran out of battery by kilometer 10. Good thing because I wanted to hurry home at this point!

Checking my Nike+ stats, I had negative splits the last 3 kilometers.

I did stop by kilometer 12 to do my 4 minutes stretching because I knew I won't be able to do it at home.

It was because I knew from experience, that I will dive in to eat my dinner (my beloved prepared!)  as soon as P opened the door to our home!

Simple but oh so tasty! Although I  did not have the energy anymore to make it look "foodie" worthy! I am #SorryNOTSorry :D.

The verdict of this comeback run? Thumbs-UP!

It was a good warm-up - a mental boost, and to prepare the body to pick up where it left off with the marathon training.

23:32