Crushing Depression With Each Race, Each Run (Luxembourg Half-Marathon)

Sometimes I can't believe my eyes when I see pictures of myself, specially after a race. Is this really me, I ask myself. Yes, it is, I tell myself!

I would not have thought it possible 7 years ago, that I could look happy, strong and free, as I do now.

I did it!
Finished my first half-marathon in Luxembourg!
Got the bling, and very happy about the decision I made: Tuesday: Decision Time!
09.06.13 00:40

In 2006, I suffered from a nervous breakdown after years and years of cycles of chronic depression.

There were many times I gave up on life. I never thought I would ever have enough courage to share this, what I share in words, to my family, to close friends, and on my blogs for those readers, whom I aim to reach. People like me.

People like me, who've suffered from depression, and thought they are alone, and that somehow they will never ever recover from it.

This was taken before I picked up my starting number, when I was still contemplating on running the full instead of the half! 08.06.13 14.09

When I share my stories,my purpose is not to be pitied for what I've gone through, nor earn compliments for what I've "achieved" in my fight against this disorder.

I am writing what I've been through to give others hope and courage to never ever give up on life.

Everyone goes through life challenges, and everyone at one point in their lives felt, that life is unfair.

Specially those who goes through life challenges weakened with depression, and can't even attend to their basic needs.

My body was grateful, that I made a reasonable decision and ran the half!
09.06.13 00:40

A sad silent statistic of people in the world, who've suffered and still suffer from depression have a hard time talking about this mental disorder.

 Sadly, I am not the first and will not be the last, who will talk about how this disorder can take away a lot from your life.

My fervent wish is that I certainly will not be the last to talk about how one can overcome depression, and live a life of quality.

Episodes of depression might not completely go away for most people but the knowledge of how to cope with it, how to prevent it, how to take care of one's well being, that the frequency will be reduced effectively is more worth than any wealth in the world.

My medal of valour. :D
Luxembourg (Half-) Marathon can definitely be counted as one of the best ultimate runner's challenge.
I'll be back to conquer the full - one day!

Most importantly it is important to know how to ask for help, when you no longer know what to do.

No one is ever alone. Being alone is a choice one makes, and it's not ever a man's fate.

image (screen shot) courtesy of Alphafoto.com
at
Boulevard_Schumann

Depression can make you feel alone, make you feel, that loneliness so painfully. 

But you should never let depression convince you, that you are alone, that the pain one feels in the moment is ever-lasting. 

image (screen shot) courtesy of Alphafoto.com
at
Boulevard_Schumann

There is always a choice with depression.

The choice to fight it (over and over and over again), conquer it and live, a life that is full.

image (screen shot) courtesy of Alphafoto.com
at
Boulevard_Schumann

(EDIT 29.04.14, 32 Days to Luxembourg Marathon 2014)
Postscript to this Marathon story:

After the marathon, the organizers created a search for THE FACE of the ING Night Marathon Luxembourg 2014 ) - I became one of THE FACE of the ING Night Marathon Luxembourg 2014 of the Luxembourg Night Marathon !

Never ever give up, always keep hope alive in your heart, and always dare to dream.

Lesson Learned in Luxembourg

Currently writing impressions from our Luxembourg weekend and sorting out pictures to share to family and friends...

I had an awesome time with my family despite of the stress, that came along with running abroad.

Luxembourg is beautiful; it's people warm and friendly - a great first time visit! 

courtesy of Google image

If we can afford it, it would be great to do Luxembourg half-marathon again next year - a real motivating challenge. I think I need a substantial time of stress free, consistent training to even think of running the full.

Very, very, very grateful I had the opportunity of running the half. Thanks to mijn liefste P , the positive support of all my Loopmaatjes and each and every one who supported me and my family!

Lesson learned in Luxembourg: never ever give up! 

All runs - fast, slow, long, short - even non-runs (when you rest from runs but think in your head when, where and how you will enjoy your run again, counts!)  brings you nearer to your goals. 

On the Road Back Ho(lland)me

Got the orange luggage ☑, the orange cap from the goodie bag (I won it !) ☑, the Luxembourg Marathon souvenir shirt ☑, the courtesy blue balloon ☑ and our happy selves ☑☑☑!

Gloomy sky on our way home...

BUT we will always remember the sunny Saturday afternoon we had before the marathon!

Can't wait for the next marathon weekend trip!

For detailed stories of our road trip home, please check out @My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands.

Luxembourg Half-Marathon: RAN!

Luxembourg Night Marathon medal and bib

My Luxembourg Half-Marathon results: 0:12:07 slower than my fastest half (CPC Loop Den Haag 2013), and 0:09:15 faster than my slowest half (Egmond Halve Marathon 2013)

- image courtesy of facesofmarathon.com gallery (not great quality because it's only a screen capture; please go to the site for the original ) -

Edit: 10.10.13

#DreamsDoComeTrue/ Follow-up on this marathon adventure...

Long story, which I still have to share in a blog (click here for the short background version) - I am one of THE FACE of the ING Night Marathon Luxembourg 2014 of the Luxembourg Night Marathon !

image courtesy of Ing Europe-Marathon Luxembourg FB page

Edit: 18.01.15

In lieu of a proper blog for my second (HM) in Luxembourg Marathon, I am updating this blog by storing details, images here, I might otherwise not find anymore later, when I finally take time to write about it.

Thursday's Thought: Taking The Stress Off Running

Aaaaaaah, getting  very excited!!! :D Blue is my ultimate favourite colour. :)

Visualising how I would be happily running the last meters to the finish line on these carpets!

image courtesy of ING Europe-Marathon Luxembourg FB page

The past weeks have been very stressful, and I was personally having a very hard time.

Until I forced the circling in the same self-defeating thoughts, focused inwardly, and posed these  questions:

Who am I as a runner?
Why do I run?
Where would I like to be years from now as a runner?

The answers gave me a lot of peace.

It is all about self acceptance, finding inner strength, and spreading the positive inspiration, one receives.

Thank you all for being such a greet support - IRL and online!

Here is to good stories to share, after the Luxembourg marathon weekend. :)

image courtesy of ING Europe-Marathon Luxembourg FB page

This Runner: 22 Months Later

Between this two race results are stories of almost giving up, and the strong will to forge on!

First 5K - Mom in Balance Pink Ribbon Run in Amsterdam Bos - 28th of August, 2011

If you look at the right hand side of this blog page, you'll see that I obviously have a thing with countdowns.

 As I write this blog, it says that it is 65 days to my second running anniversary.  Still more than two months to go, and I am very excited to celebrate it.

There have been a lot of changes: major and subtle ones; obvious changes and those not discernible to the eyes of those, who do not know me personally.

a before and after picture of 13 months of running

I like the person I have become after 22 months of running, and hope to still be better and stronger.

If in the process of recording all these changes, I can inspire myself to constantly and consistently continue this path I am now, I'm sure, I'll acquire peace I seek.

If I can inspire others, even one person to make themselves strong  -  mind, body and soul  - by pursuing a healthier lifestyle, I know I'll have fulfillment I yearn.