Thursday, January 15, 2015

I greet you randomly, 2015!

#HOHO - #HappyOutdoorsHeadOn -
a tag I came up with for my Instagram running instaposts, to animate myself to go out for a run.

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” 

“Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it—just as we have learned to live with storms.” 

In our village the wind howls, as I type the words to my first blog of 2015.  A blog that will be read in different countries all over the world.  It's a cool and daunting thought.

How do I know about the different countries?  A "fun gadget" on this blog is the Live Traffic Feed; it shows the different countries of the viewers/followers of this blog.  Through the years, I have found this feature entertaining, fascinating and more and more personally motivating (specially in times of blogging draught!).

Why am I blathering about this on my first blog for 2015?

Well that random piece of information above inspired me to share 5 random things about me (see list below).

This post is my quirky way of warming up to the new blogging year; it feels so long, since I last wrote to you, I need a warming up.

 As funny and strange as it may seem,  I don't exactly know how and where to start blogging about 2015.  I'll write about the deeper why behind this in another blog.

In any case, I hope some of the randomness I share below will ignite a flicker of inspiration to help you (like it helped me!) - if you have fear of "beginnings",  you think you're too old for "late beginnings" or just like me, it seem like you always are "at the beginning" - in (mentally) beginning 2015.

The list below is not a "how to" but more a "blog mind cloud/mind map".  I guess, this is a look behind how I "reboot" my mind to begin blogging again.  You are welcome to be a part of the process. ;)

1. Blathering blogs - I post a lot of them, well,  A LOT - I can write concise; I simply choose not to.

It always feel like I am a guest in my own home when I do blog the way I feel a blogger is expected to, as oppose to my free style of writing.

Yup, writing free style will continue in 2015. :)  I like feeling at home!

There are so many restrictions in life, and the freedom to express ourselves in our own unique way is precious.  The most wonderful part of it, the exercise to do so is absolutely free!

Furthermore, writing (/blogging) is liberating; it is in fact therapeutic.

When I think of a single most powerful reason, why I started blogging, the word: therapeutic always is, the first that springs to mind.

This is the same motivation, which urges me time and time again to continue blogging.

“I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.” 
“All I wanted was to live a life where I could be me, and be okay with that. I had no need for material possessions, money or even close friends with me on my journey. I never understood people very well anyway, and they never seemed to understand me very well either. All I wanted was my art and the chance to be the creator of my own world, my own reality. I wanted the open road and new beginnings every day.” 

2. Connections, I thrive in and find them challenging at  the same time.

When I think about connections, the world as a small village, I think about my father.

He worked in the travel industry as a tourist guide, and through his occupation I was exposed to international relations at a very early age.  People in general thought of him as very social & outgoing - due to his job and connections - but he was in fact a very private person. Contradicting but true.

Yesterday (14th of January) was the 16th year anniversary of his passing away.

It is ironic that my father, the one who inspired me to travel the world, and is (spiritually) instrumental in my running in Europe never travelled beyond the region he was born in,  and as far as I could remember , he never ever ran in his (sadly, very short) life.

When I run and blog, I almost always think about my dad.

The feeling of being "different" (due to my mental disorder) often times hinders me from connecting.   But the memory of my father, his great influence in my life, clearly reminds me we how in connecting with others, we discover our strength and inspire others to do so, too.

“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.” 
― Herman Melville

3.  Disjointed blogs and thoughts, are what makes up my blathering blogs

Make sense of what does not, is another reason what I am trying to do when I run and blog.

At both these physical, and creative processes, I have discovered (and constantly rediscover) that:

Life is to be lived not understood, and in the end, when it no longer truly matters, nor does the questions we have about life, have the urgency it once had, it eventually make final sense.

Ironic; I feel such is life.

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” 

4.  Dreams fuels me as much as goal settings.  Dreamers inspire me as much as go getters.

I dreamt about the life I am now living.  Not in all sense of the word but in the essence.

There have been countless times I heard people say to me,  that the dreams I dream (have dreamt, and continue to dream) are ambitious dreams.

For me, they simply are/were dreams of a simple girl, who read a lot of books that gave impulse to those dreams, which are now reality.  As I grew up, matured and continue to lead the life I live inspite of the (mental) struggle, I met many inspirin g people, who all reminded me through their stories of what dreams, dreaming is all about.

There was nothing ambitious about my dreams.  They simply were a part of me.

When I look at the Live Traffic Feed counter, and it shows the list of countries from different continents, it animates me to dream of meeting people from those different places. I dream of traveling (and running!) in those different places to meet those people.  Once again, simple dreams.  Nothing ambitious.

“I dream my painting and I paint my dream.” 

5.   An individual's randomness leads to self-discovery.

“Define your uniqueness.

Define your greatness.” 

Happy Beginnings in 2015! May you continue to be a dreamer; may you continue to pursue your dreams! 

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If I can run, so can you: big dreams are reached with baby steps!