Half-Marathon Mental Prep: Singing Along to Robbie W. & Take That

First Half-Year of  2013 Nike+ Stats

My headset is on, and I'm listening to Robbie Williams, and Take That albums to put me in a positive mood - outside it's grey, wet (drizzle of rain) and cold.  While I drink my coffee, I study my Nike+ stats for 2013.

Before 2012 ended, I planned that I'll be running  a specific monthly distance, that will round off my Nike+ stats of distance ran to a total of 2013 kilometers by the end of 2013.

I am trying not to be discouraged or be too hard on myself, that I have not been very consistent with my running 4 times a week to reach the kilometers per week I need to reach the goal I set.

Looking closely though at my stats from last year, since I begun using Nike+, it shows me how much I have improved:

I am running - soon to celebrate my 2nd Runniversary!  This fact alone is a huge achievement, that I should NEVER take for granted.  Not only running but running long distances I could not have imagined when I was a little girl of 10 years old.

It was at that age I remember being fascinated with running, but not having enough confidence to think I can be a runner. I fell a lot, and during sports I got hit a lot on the face during ball games. Not very encouraging for a quiet book-worm kind of girl, I was. It only reinforced my behaviour of sinking my head in books than hold my head up high in sports class.

As always, I discover how I still keep losing focus on what's most important.  I am working hard on empowering myself with what I've achieved and use that to fuel me on to reach for what I aspire.

Most of all ENJOY THE RUNNING MOMENTS. Not focus too much on the stats - it's there to help me; I should use it to guide me but I should not be a slave to them.

Be in a positive zone, a positive running flow, like I've experienced during my run, which I've documented in my blog: Think 42!

Nike+ stats of 2012 - I won the Nike+ Sportswatch with GPS in August

I know that I have it in me to be a strong runner, I just need more patience, and I will shine ( to my own eyes!).

Meanwhile, I sing along at the top of my lungs (well in my head at least!) and let these affirmations sink in my soul. 

On Sunday, at my next half-marathon, I'll be sharing this passion together with hundreds - an event to remind me clearly why I run: to have fun and celebrate life through running!

"Strong"
 My breath smells of a thousand fags
And when I'm drunk I dance like me Dad
I've started to dress a bit like him

Early morning when I wake up
I look like Kiss but without the make up
And that's a good line to take it to
The bridge

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow so before
I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

My bed's full of takeaways and fantasies
Of easy lays
The pause button's broke on my video
And is this real cos I feel fake
Oprah Winfrey Ricki Lake
Teach me things I don't need to know

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And it's starting to show so before
I'm old I'll confess
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sun

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

And you know and you know
Cos my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow

You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

"Patience"
Just have a little patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost,
I'm feeling your frustration,
Any minute all the pain will stop,
Just don't be close inside your arms tonight,
don't be to hard on my emotions.

Cause I need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while im still healing,
Just try and have a little patience.

I really wanna start over again,
I know you wanna be my salvation,
The one that I can always depend,
I'll try to be strong, believe me,
I'm trying to move on,
It's complicated, but understand me,

Cause I need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while im still healing,
Just try and have a little patience Yeah,
Have a little patience, Yeah

Cause this scar runs so deep,
Its been hard,
But I have to believe me,

Have a little patience,
Have a little patience,

Cause I, I just need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience,

Have a little patience,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little...

  
"Shine"
You, you're such a big star to me
You're everything I wanna be
But you're stuck in a hole and I want you to get out
I don't know what there is to see
But I know it's time for you to leave
We're all just pushing along
Trying to figure it out, out, out.

All your anticipation pulls you down
When you can have it all, you can have it all.

So come on, come on, get it on
Don't know what you're waiting for
Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey
So come on
See the light on your face
Let it shine
Just let it shine
Let it shine.

Stop being so hard on yourself
It's not good for your health
I know that you can change
So clear your head and come round
You only have to open your eyes
You might just get a big surprise
And it may feel good and you might want to smile, smile, smile.

Don't you let your demons pull you down
'Cause you can have it all, you can have it all.

Hey let me know you
You're all that matters to me
Hey let me show you
You're all that matters to me.

Hey let me love you
You're all that matters to me
Hey so come on yeah
Shine all your light over me.

My Marathons, Me & Robbie W.

Cultural posts are usually written/posted  @My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands, and yes zapping through the tv channels to find something entertaining on a cozy Friday night with the family is considered cultural in our home!

I am writing this blog about Friday night television evening here because it has something to do with my two marathons: Berlin and Amsterdam, which I both finished this year. 

Van der Vorst Ziet Sterren (roughly translated: Van der Vorst Stargazing) is a Dutch televison programm in RTL4.

In the show, Peter van der Vorst, Dutch host is invited in the house of famous Dutch and  international stars, and given a tour of their home during their interview.

screen shot of Van Der Vorst Ziet Sterren website

When the family and I stumbled upon the show Friday night, he was in the middle of an interview with Robbie Williams!

I am a huge Robbie Williams fan.

One of my early post  @My Daily Mooosings in the Netherlands is about his song, and I used it as the title of the blog as well: Something Beautiful - my celebratory song, my warrior song, my personal song!

While watching the interview, I could not help smile from ear to ear because I felt Peter van der Vorst's interview was highlighting the positive growth and progress in Robbie William's life.

Google image of Robbie with daughter Theodora Rose

After a commercial segment, I saw on the screen the Twitter handle of Peter van der Vorst @petervdvorst.  I felt, I had to check it out! Very glad I did because he tweeted about the chance of personally meeting Robbie Williams next week Friday here in the Netherlands!

screen shot of Robbie Williams website

I felt it was fate that I stumbled upon the show.  I felt it was the perfect timing. A chance to meet Robbie Williams after recently achieving not one but two personal goals - running Berlin my first ever  marathon, and three weeks later Amsterdam marathon - fulfilling two dreams, and he was a big part of me achieving them.

Photographed computer screen from the set of my Berlin Marathon pictures - original to follow

Photographed computer screen from the set of my Amsterdam Marathon pictures - original to follow

I count myself as a dedicated silent fan.

I don't own all RW's albums, and only so far managed to go to one of  his concert, the one where he was very ill and still pushed through to perform in Hamburg (2006).

Although I have a little "collection", as a fan of RW, he was a huge positive influence at crucial points in my life - when I felt almost giving up.

During my first year in Germany, I attended private language school, and met Ximena, a 15 y.o. girl from Equador, whose father worked for the consulate, and was learning German with me.

She was crazy about Take That.

I was only 6 years older than her then but I had to smile inwardly because I no longer had the nervous energy over a boyband.  At the same time I  had flashes of images of my teen-age self. Not only 5 years prior, I myself went gaga over the latest picture of Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran!

Duran Duran image  from Wiki

Ximena "introduced me" to Robbie.  His image, was the one I got pulled to more amongst the many fan pictures shared to me by  this cute 15 y.o. Take That fan girl  from Equador.

I lost touch with her but Robbie stayed in my life.

After language school, followed life: marriage, adjusting to a new culture, more schooling, new job. 

A decade later (2003), in our small flat in North of Germany, I find myself with my head bowed on the ktichen table, crying and feeling utterly miserable and despondent - I was suffering from yet another bout of chronic depression.  Robbie was singing "Something Beautiful" over the radio.

Somehow the lyrics, his rendition of the song, touched my soul.  Of course, I was not miraculously cured from depression.

How I wished!

The song gave me hope, though.  It became my personal song.  The Escapalogy album was my sweet serenade, and empowering scream to life.

2 years later (2005) my German bestfriend gave me 'Feel' by Chris Heath for Christmas. Again, it was just what I needed to read at that  point in my life - I needed to have some kind of assurance that I am not "alone".

As "strange" as it may sound, I identified strongly with the sensitivity to life Robbie shared to Chris Heath in this book.

A year later, I watched Robbie for the first time live in Hamburg. I was experiencing panic attacks, and Nikki, my bestfriend, who gave me the book was able to calm me and convince me in her sweet way to go to the concert and not miss it because I would regret it.

Robbie was not feeling well, very ill actually but he made a funny sketch about it , and he shared this after the opening song. He went through the show and gave his everything. He shone.

At the end of the concert, as if a light went out, you could see the exhaustion caused by his exertion to perform, so as not to disappoint his fans.  This stayed with me.

Google Image:  Intensive Care Tour Hamburg, 2006

If Robbie will not give up, I won't either.  This concert became a concrete message for me to never give up, even when circumstances seems to be pushing you into that direction...

Google Image: Intensive Care Tour, Vienna, Austrai 2006

I cheered for him in my silent way as a fan, wishing he would endure and never give up on life. I celebrated for him silently as he did.

Now, if I have the chance through Peter van de Vorst's show Van der Vorst Ziet Sterren, I would love to  thank Robbie Williams personally for being genuine and sharing his struggles honestly.

I would also feel honoured, if I could show him the medals I earned, symbolizing my efforts in trying to endure through my own struggles - efforts, which he has motivated and inspired through his own battle with his personal demons.

I believed and held on to the message of his song:

If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

And something beautiful did...I did not give up. :)  I found something beautiful in me, worth loving, and I found out that I can let others discover the beauty in them, with my writing (and running!).

After years of Escapology, I Take The Crown to living life passionately.