Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Road to Rotterdam 2015: Update!

“The hardest thing about the road not taken is that you never know where it might have led.” 

Tomorrow, it will be two weeks since my last  - long distance training - run.

I've been postponing this blog because each day for the last 2 weeks, I have been hoping to run again, so that I could confidently say, "Onwards, forwards to Rotterdam!"

The question I have been often asked the past two weeks:

"Are you running?"

"Are you still running?"

"Are you going for a run?"

"Are you off for a run?"

"Are you posting blog updates on running?"

There was actually no one who asked, if I will still run the Rotterdam marathon.

I think, partly, it is because I have not been very vocal about my plans to run Rotterdam.  I have also hardly talked about it in via my social media channels, as much as I did with my previous marathons.

Honestly, I do not have any answer to the question, no one has directly asked me: is Rotterdam still on?

I guess in the end, I am writing this blog for me to remember how I feel, and that someday, I would have something to read to assure me that I have been in this kind of situation, and I have learned what to do.

Looking back at my Nike+ plus statistics and recalling my training for Berlin, Amsterdam & Paris, I can say, I have never "prepared", as much as I have so far done for Rotterdam.

I actually have never even run  25 kilometers in two consecutive weekends as training in any of my 3 previous marathon as I have done for my #MR15 training:

1st of February, taken during my first and last run this month
it was supposed to be a 25 km run
but my Nike+ sportswatch ran out of battery,
and I ended up recording 24.68 km

Happy to run 25 km! 25th of January

I never even ran an official half-marathon race prior to running my first full marathon.  I ran almost 21 km for fun; it was because of Nike challenge in Summer 2012 before I won my Nike+ sportswatch so I don't even have a record of that.  At that time I had a simple watch (from Decathlon in Amsterdam), and I used it's timer to see how long I ran for a particular distance.

From January to September 2012 - (Running 2012), in preparation for Berlin & Amsterdam marathon, I race in Holland, almost every month.

The most memorable month of 2012 was April, where I raced every Sunday; I ran in my old home town - Hamburg in Germany -  to test the marathon atmosphere before hand, as part of a relay team I personally organized.

I had hoped, Rotterdam  would be the first marathon I could prepare for properly.

Paris 2013 was a "fiasco" in regards to training.

My mind left my marathon training even before I could truly begin.  The promise was there when January began, and I ran Egmond for the first time: my first official half-marathon.

But I lost motivation in February.  Losing our first home in Holland in a traumatic way, being displaced for 3 months as a result, and rushing to renovate a house we could move into, eventually took it's toll on me.

Now, 2 years later, since I finished  Paris marathon, and a year later since I've mentally recovered from a foot nerve injury, I find myself again in February lacking energy & motivation.

I have been dealing with a persistent virus from December until this month - 3 relapses!

The first two times I had to rest in bed.  The third relapse, these last two weeks.

I wanted to avoid getting worst so contrary to what I usually do, which is stubbornly go on until I break down - I took a break from training and let go of my need to prove myself.

Today, I feel I can run without having a coughing fit.

Coincidentally, I have the opportunity to earn a badge.  A very motivating thought (for me!).

Let's see how it will go….and I will let you know at the end of February if I will be on the road to Rotterdam OR following another road.

(EDIT: 19th of February, 2015 - After I wrote this blog, I ran   twice - a 15K on the 15th {Easy Sunday Come Back Run}, and 10K (the best run in months!) yesterday, the 18th.

Confidence and the hope to make it to the finish line of Rotterdam is back!)

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If I can run, so can you: big dreams are reached with baby steps!